Dan "the man"
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Friday, August 13, 2004
Two Blonde Jokes For You!
Mood:  lucky
Topic: Humor
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies,

"Yes."

He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

(scroll down)

. . .

. . .

FOR BEST RESULTS . . .

PUT ON TWO COATS









A lawyer and a blonde woman happen to be sitting next to each other on
a long flight from L.A. to New York. The lawyer leans over to her
and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired
and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over
to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of
fun. He explains how the game works. . . "I ask you a question, and
if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa." Again, the
blonde politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily
win the match, so he makes another offer. "Okay, how about this. .
If you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know
the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be
no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. . . "What's the distance from
the Earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer. . . "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Air-phone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who cannot imagine what the answer is, and is going nuts trying to figure it out, is more than a little frustrated! He wakes the blonde and asks. . . "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Posted by DanmanX at 7:46 PM EDT
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You want good sites?
Topic: Humor
Well...do ya, Punk???

Fark! Check out the photoshopped pics sections!

Ebaums World, funny site with tons of funny images and videos

Posted by DanmanX at 7:40 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, August 13, 2004 8:01 PM EDT
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Coffee Coffee Coffee!!!!!!!
Mood:  caffeinated
Coffee = Goodness!!!

Posted by DanmanX at 7:12 PM EDT
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Raining hard
Topic: Weather
Wow. It really looks like crap outside today. Let's hope this weekend will shine a little! :-)

Posted by DanmanX at 7:03 PM EDT
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The original "TV chef" has died
Mood:  sad
Not the chef from South Park people. Not Julia Styles either...Julia Child is dead at 91!!! It's so sad, she was a great chef. She will be missed!

Posted by DanmanX at 7:01 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, August 13, 2004 7:33 PM EDT
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What a book!
Topic: Books
I've been reading Dracula. Wow. I never thought I would like to read, but this book is really great!!! :-)

Posted by DanmanX at 7:00 PM EDT
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The Notebook
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Movies
You know, I just saw the Notebook. It was really a wonderful romantic film. Very emotional, very compassionate movie with a touching ending! Although I did guess the ending and the "big secret". As always...

Posted by DanmanX at 6:56 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, August 13, 2004 7:10 PM EDT
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Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Ch-ch-check it out!
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Gaming


The new Nintendo DS coming in November 2004. It looks cool, but will it be worth it?

It's as powerful as a Nintendo 64 and has two screens. One is a touch screen! Microphone support. WiFi 802.11b support!! Not too shabby!!!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, August 13, 2004 7:29 PM EDT
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Great movie!
Topic: Movies
I saw Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle tonight. Now I know what you're thinking. Dan, why on Earth did you want to see this? Well, to me, it looked really great. I enjoyed it alot and it had some very funny moments. Usually, I don't like toilet humor movies, but this one was very different. Perhaps because the premise was so simple!!!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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She Walks
by Jeffrey Carter

She walks along this lonely street
no one to dry her tears
massage her tired feet
or calm ever present fears

Seeing life through tainted heart
making everything gray
Alone, her life, anew to start
Always searching for a way

But life goes on no matter what
That fact she cannot quell
Memories ne'er to be forgot
Within her heart they dwell

So she keeps walking this lonely street
Keeps searching to find her way
Every night she lies down to sleep
And prays tomorrow's a better day

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, August 18, 2004 5:08 PM EDT
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Hey, here's a pic for you
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: No Soup for You!
Topic: Humor


No soup for you!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Friday, August 6, 2004
Old Navy!
Topic: Weird
Yeah..I went on a shopping spree sort of. I finally got clothes that fit me! My studdly body...ripped and sexay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Thursday, August 5, 2004
Are you jellin'?
Topic: Humor
I'm jellin' like a felon!!


Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Gran Turismo 4 Video Anyone?
Mood:  chatty
Topic: Gaming
GT4 Las Vegas Clip

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Wednesday, August 4, 2004
Gradius V Preview!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Gaming
Click here for the preview!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Tuesday, August 3, 2004
Doom 3 released!!
Mood:  loud
Topic: Gaming
Doom 3 has just been released for the PC today. Most stores are selling it for $54.99!! Whoa! But it's worth it for that realtime shadowing!!! For those that don't know, the game Doom and Doom II created the FPS genre for PCers. It's simply the "grandaddy" of all FPS's!!! BUY IT NOW! You will thank me!!!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Sunday, August 1, 2004
Indiana Jones 4 Delayed till 2006!
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Movies
George Lucas didn't like the script. He sent the writer back to rewrite it! Spielberg and Ford both liked the script. Shame on you, George Lucas!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Friday, July 16, 2004
Michael Jackson going to have quadruplets!?
Topic: Weird
Michael Jackson is about to become a father to four more children, quadruplets, by way of a surrogate mother.

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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Stargate: Atlantis Debuts on Sci-Fi
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Television
Did anyone else just love the pilot of Atlantis? I thought it was very well done!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, August 13, 2004 7:41 PM EDT
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Thursday, July 15, 2004
Gigli is the Worst Movie Ever
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Movies
I had the "pleasure" of watching this film the other day. Boy, it sucked big time! Not only is Ben Affleck the stupidest thug ever, he also falls in love with a lesbian! That's right! A lesbian! The biggest star was a mentally handicapped boy in the story!

Posted by DanmanX at 1:01 AM EDT
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